The real poop
There are some days that the kids waking up wet in their beds is only the tip of the iceberg. Everyday this week I have washed sheets. Toilet training kids is not fun. Pull-ups suck! I have not found a brand yet that I like whether for boys or girls.
You wash the sheets and yet the room still stinks. You empty the trash, even though it is almost empty, and yet it still stinks. Air Freshener just masks the smell- urine and poop mixed with a delightful lavender. Maybe that should be the ad on TV. Instead of someone with stinky feet, give me something I can really relate to on a daily basis- poop, urine, kids gas, etc. Maybe I would try your product.
During all this, I have to combat the remainder of poop in my life. Dealing with people that stress you out and annoy you, kids wanting everything at the same time, kids whining and crying, who has to go potty, who needs to be driven and picked up from pre-school, who wants you to go shopping with them while your kid is in school, who wants you to run errands, make calls, look on the net for something they can just as easily do, all this while you are trying to deal with your own family, work from home, look for another job working from home, cooking cleaning and yet you have no down time.
Did I mention the boot I have to wear for at least another 2-3 weeks? Everyone wants a piece of me, yet I feel like I let everyone down since there is not enough of me to go around. Some days I just ignore the phone. That really irks people. Then they text you, email you with the nasty messages. They realize you are ignoring them.
Yet all you want is 10 minutes to yourself. When you finally get it (after everyone is asleep) someone wakes up and wants Mommy.
I need to still lose my baby fat.I know it, yet my mother reminds me almost everyday that I need to lose it. I finally flipped out on her on the phone and told her to lose the weight herself. She needs to lose weight more than I do!
I can't exercise now since the boot. I started slimfast. Again, what does everyone want from me?
As I said in the past, I am the one everyone vents to. When I vent, no one wants to hear it. My husband has no choice. The kids have no choice. I feel like Lucy VanPelten. No one pays me the $.05 she gets!
Sometimes I think I need to write a book or pitch to HBO. No on would believe a day of my life. It is so bizarre with all the characters that everyone would think the writer(s) were whacked to come up with these people. This is my life.
A day like today shows me, I have so much to give, but not enough people want what I have to offer.
I think I should dye my hair blonde (because blondes do have more fun), start tanning, work out if someone wants to watch the kids and we should move and make friends with the people like the cast from The Housewives of wherever or the cast from Jersey Shore. At least compared to them, my life is tame, I think. I could still give them a run for their money with the likes of those around me.
Need to come up with a good stage name...Diamond, Emerald, Wiz,...thoughts? I would mask the kids faces like Michael Jackson did and have my husband wear a disguise too. But I am afraid if I did that, I would end up on the Walmart website.
You wash the sheets and yet the room still stinks. You empty the trash, even though it is almost empty, and yet it still stinks. Air Freshener just masks the smell- urine and poop mixed with a delightful lavender. Maybe that should be the ad on TV. Instead of someone with stinky feet, give me something I can really relate to on a daily basis- poop, urine, kids gas, etc. Maybe I would try your product.
During all this, I have to combat the remainder of poop in my life. Dealing with people that stress you out and annoy you, kids wanting everything at the same time, kids whining and crying, who has to go potty, who needs to be driven and picked up from pre-school, who wants you to go shopping with them while your kid is in school, who wants you to run errands, make calls, look on the net for something they can just as easily do, all this while you are trying to deal with your own family, work from home, look for another job working from home, cooking cleaning and yet you have no down time.
Did I mention the boot I have to wear for at least another 2-3 weeks? Everyone wants a piece of me, yet I feel like I let everyone down since there is not enough of me to go around. Some days I just ignore the phone. That really irks people. Then they text you, email you with the nasty messages. They realize you are ignoring them.
Yet all you want is 10 minutes to yourself. When you finally get it (after everyone is asleep) someone wakes up and wants Mommy.
I need to still lose my baby fat.I know it, yet my mother reminds me almost everyday that I need to lose it. I finally flipped out on her on the phone and told her to lose the weight herself. She needs to lose weight more than I do!
I can't exercise now since the boot. I started slimfast. Again, what does everyone want from me?
As I said in the past, I am the one everyone vents to. When I vent, no one wants to hear it. My husband has no choice. The kids have no choice. I feel like Lucy VanPelten. No one pays me the $.05 she gets!
Sometimes I think I need to write a book or pitch to HBO. No on would believe a day of my life. It is so bizarre with all the characters that everyone would think the writer(s) were whacked to come up with these people. This is my life.
A day like today shows me, I have so much to give, but not enough people want what I have to offer.
I think I should dye my hair blonde (because blondes do have more fun), start tanning, work out if someone wants to watch the kids and we should move and make friends with the people like the cast from The Housewives of wherever or the cast from Jersey Shore. At least compared to them, my life is tame, I think. I could still give them a run for their money with the likes of those around me.
Need to come up with a good stage name...Diamond, Emerald, Wiz,...thoughts? I would mask the kids faces like Michael Jackson did and have my husband wear a disguise too. But I am afraid if I did that, I would end up on the Walmart website.
posted by Just Blanche | 7:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home